Despite loving going home...I do get nervous about going back. When I see Ewan it's fine. When I see my parents it's fine.
The thing I get incredibly nervous about is going to Ewan's house and seeing his family.
I used to be very shy, and have got over my phobia. But, still every time I go to his house, my stomach insides twist and churn, like there is a knot in my tummy. A sense of dread comes over me.
The first Saturday I was back, my tummy ache was really bad. Although Adele's bonfire party I just wanted to throw up, anything to get read of this incredible pain. Olly was irritating me ALOT. We have never been the best of friends and it does upset me a tiny bit that we don't get on. But not really that bothered, some people you just don't get on with. Bad luck it is my boyfriends brother and best friends boyfriend.
In the past, Olly has said some stuff to me in the past that has really hurt me. Such as, I was apparently hurting two people he loved by going off to University. With his whole family, there seemed to be a whole controversy about me going to do a degree. And to top it off, I was going so far away. The thing is none of Ewan's close family, including himself, ever went to Uni. I have no problem with that. The problem is, they state their opinion about things they don't know about. They don't know about my decisions, what I want out of Uni or what my course is about.
Every time I go there, I do feel worried about what they think of me. I want them to be interested. But there thoughts are beyond my control. And do we ever know what anybody truly thinks?
Anyway I hope to prove them wrong with my amazing career I will get in a couple of years.
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